Today was a long day. A sad day. A day of phone calls and finding out arrangements and quiet contemplation. Today I found out my sister Kathy passed away. I talked to my brother and my mom. Mom is taking it hard. She hasn't seen Kathy in a while. Mom told me she had just hung the photo of Kathy and her husband when my brother called to tell her the news.
Kathy is my half sister. There are 3 of us from the first marriage.. I'm the only living child from that batch. Then there are 4 more from marriage #2.. Kathy was from that bunch. Then 2 more from the 3rd. That was Mom. Then Dad married again and had 2 more.. that makes 11 of us if you count all of us. Whew...
I and my youngest brother were adopted into another family. At the time of the divorce a young single women could not care for 3 children under the age of 4. I Searched for and found my biological family in 1992. It was wonderful. My Dad and oldest brother had passed away, but I met his family, my step mom, siblings, Aunts, Uncles, etc. Then met my mom and the 2 youngest siblings. The older kids from Mom's second marriage were grown and on their own. I did have an opportunity one holiday to speak to each on on the phone. I only have one brother that I've never met or spoken to.
I only spoke to Kathy once. A shame really. It's so difficult to try and make friends with siblings that are strangers. I think we all want to know each other. Maybe not every little minute detail, but we want to get a sense of who these brothers and sisters are.
So many things interfere with that getting to know each other. Families, Jobs, distance, responsibilities. The list goes on. I really hadn't realized it'd been so long since I'd spoken to Kathy. No one really knew where she was except someplace in Ky. I didn't really think about it either.. Shame on me. I never got nosey enough to get her last name. She married in 2005. Nor did I get nosey enough to find out where she lived. I should have been nosey and then planed a trip to see her and get to know something about her.
Kathy was 42. I thought I had time. I didn't. All of this has led me to really want to get to know my siblings. My brothers and sisters, **
**I never liked the half brother/sister tag. you're either my brother or sister or you're not. Nothing half way about it. I don't like step either. kind of makes you feel muddy.. or dirt filled. I don't have step mom's or dads, brothers or sisters.
My brothers and sisters. I want to get to know them better.
Dad's kids are here in state. I know them, their kids, what they like, and where they live. We know each other. Not like brothers and sisters raised together, but we know each other.
I want to know my other brother and sisters. The ones who live in other states, some way off. I want to know what they like to do for relaxation. What kind of hobbies they have, what they like to eat, their favorite types of music. I want to know how many kids they have and what they are like. I want to know them. I know it won't be the same as knowing someone you are raised with, but that's OK. I want to know. I am the oldest. I want to know, before another one leaves this earth. I don't want to have another day where the conversation is centered around how a husband never knew his wife's family. I don't want to have to ask if the sibling had children, or where they live. I want to know.
I hope they want to know me too. Mom suggested that we make a plan for her kids to get together once a year. I like that idea. I'm in another state, so I probably can't get out every year. But I've found some of the family on facebook. what a wonder. I am learning a little more about their kids and families. I want us to know each other at least well enough that if I died They would know who my husband and my children are. Where I lived and that my favorite food was BBQ and my favorite dessert was Lemon meringue pie.
Being the oldest I want them to know. Family matters.
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