Today was full of emotions and thoughts all spinning in my head. I'm trying to sort through all this. I don't know how to process what I know, and don't know about all this dementia stuff.
I am very thankful for my friend Ann. Her husband was diagnosed with Alzheimers a couple of years ago. When I told her that I was being referred to a neurologist for symptoms of Early onset Dementia; she was great. she brought me a bag full of informational items about Dementia and Alzheimers.
I put that bag away. I didn't want to read through any of it until I had the MRI and the EEG and results were available. I wanted to wait until Doc and I had gone over those test results and I'd had a chance to think about it and ask questions.
One of the items she brought to me was a sheet containing the name of some books that were written by the Mayo Clinic. One that she suggested can be found here. I purchased the Kindle version. I really feel better after reading the first 2 chapters. I have to remind myself that Doc said to return if my symptoms worsen. I can't assume they will get worse. I can make myself crazy thinking about what may happen. I have to stop myself and remember a couple of things.
First. I have to remember that God is Trust worthy. I've trusted Him with my Salvation. I've trusted Him to lead me through this life. I can trust Him with this too. I don't have to know or understand it all right now. I may never understand the why of this.
I know that God can use this for good. I want Him to be Glorified in my life. I know that He can use this to teach me, to build my Faith, and to show me more of Himself.
Today I felt torn and worn. I was again bombarded by fear, and the what ifs .. but God again reminded me that My times are in His hands.
I need to go on with my life enjoying each day. living each moment. Waking each day taking God's hand and walking through whatever that day holds. If I had to do it alone. I know I couldn't but I don't have to do anything on my own. God is holding me. He's promised to be with me and never leave me. Yes, my God is trustworthy.