Sunday, June 21, 2009

I Can't wait to call him DAD...

If you read the last post.. Happy Father's Day Papa.. you are probably really confused.. Let me tell you that I walked around in a daze for a while.. I'd like you to meet my Dad..

here is a picture of him.. See any resemblance??? LOL like the hair.. oh my goodness, all my aunts and uncles have this hair.. it's what all the kids are terrified of.. the "Family" hair.. I like it.. but I'm weird..
so to continue on.. This is my Dad.. My biological dad.. I don't remember him.. I've stared at his face and listened to his voice on tape.. but I don't remember him.. I wish I did.. The great thing about the tapes.. Video.. Dad had one of the first cameras that came out.. you hooked the huge unit to your TV.. then the cord stretched out so far and you could record as far as your cord went.. I've copied and watched movies of my dad.. I've seen him talking, sleeping, and playing with my brother and sister.. (Dad and my mom divorced, both remarried.. Dad had 2 more kids, and Mom had 6 more.. with me and my two brothers.. that makes 11 kids altogether.. whoo.
anyway.. I've watched him.. I can tell a lot about him in those tapes.. He was loving.. and caring.. a snazzy dresser.. LOL and loads of fun.. quick to laugh..
I guess it's funny to say I can't wait to meet my Dad. well , I know I met him.. I know he loved me.. he was willing to give me up.. so I could have a family.. he never forgot me.. I know cause mom, told me.. he waited for us to find him.. I just didn't get to him in time.. He had passed away 7 years before I started looking.. Yep, I can't wait to call him Dad.. to listen to his Voice.. to hear his stories.. to watch his movements.. hug his neck.. and touch his hair.. I want to know everything... but mostly I can't wait to see him in Heaven.. and call him Dad...

Happy Father's Day Papa...

This is my Papa.. I'm not really sure when I started calling him papa.. I think it was after my folks divorced. As you may remember I was adopted, along with my brother Keith, when I was 2. The name just fit.. it was a term of Endearment that brother Keith and I used all the time.. As we became teens Papa became Pa.. Even the neighbor kids called Papa.. "Pa".. I will let you know that when I was not pleased with my Papa I called him Father.. LOL it was the rebel in me that caused this to happen on occasion.. those occasions usually ended up with me being grounded for a time.. Papa was a stickler for obedience. Most would say he was strict. I thought at the time the term "slave driver" fit well.. LOL little did I realize then the life lessons my Strict Papa was teaching me. I could never list all the things Papa taught me here.. but I'll try.. He taught me that "Honesty is the best policy", that "pretty is as pretty does", "beauty is only skin deep", "early to bed and early to rise makes me really sleepy"... LOL oh my goodness.. Pa was up at 5 am his whole life.. even after he became ill and couldn't work.. he was up.. if we slept until 8:00 we might as well just stay in bed.. we'd slept half the day away.. Papa taught us it was better to give then to receive.. He was absolutely right.. I've come to see that Papa was right about most things..

Papa worked as the supervisor of the lab at a few different hospitals in the area. He cracked me up.. He could do all manor of bio-chemist type stuff, but would struggle for an hour over assembling a wagon, bike, or swing set. I remember when he put up the swing set.. it was so funny.. he would wander around with the bag of bolts and instructions.. the swing set was finally up.. but he never could figure out how he had all those pieces left over.. :-)
Papa was a stickler for school and always doing your best.. Your best was expected, no exceptions.. "a little hard work never killed anybody".. yep, Papa was all for work.. there were jobs that had to be done.. we were all part of the household, we all had chores that were expected to be done. I went to live with Papa after the divorce.. I was 9.. by the time I was 10, I was cooking the meals, doing the laundry, ironing, cleaning the house.. etc. No play till the work was done.. a hard and fast rule that was never bent.. as soon as the work was finished we could have all the fun we wanted.. but till then we were house bound.. Another thing we learned was that "our word was our bond".. if we said we were going to do something.. we better do it.. No if, ands, or buts.. He taught me that your family is the most important thing in the world.. Papa only dated once after the divorce.. we threw a huge hissy fit and he never dated again.. that was one time he should have taken us both by the scruff of our little necks and told us how it would be.. he never did.. He made us his whole life.. All his decisions were based on what would be best for us. He gave up a lot.. that's when I learned about sacrificing for others..
This picture is so precious to me.. I didn't know that in a few short months my brother would pass away.. then only 4 years later my papa would also leave me.. My first hero.. my first dancing partner.. my first guinea pig when I wanted to try out a new recipe..
the first one I would ask when I wanted to know something.. the first one to ride in the car, with me driving, not screaming.. The Man who taught me how Men should treat me.. My security, my safe place.. my Papa.. he could whoop a bear, change a tire, and make the best gravy and pie crusts you ever ate.. Papa played the Guitar.. we had a song.. our song.. He would always sing to me.. " you are my sunshine".. I can still hear him singing.. he had a beautiful voice..
The first Father's day after Papa passed was horrible.. He had passed away in March that year.. I was shopping and stopped by the card section.. realizing it was almost Father's day.. I grabbed a card and started to read it.. I always wanted the best card for my Papa.. Then it hit me.. I didn't need that card.. and I was overcome with grief.. I sobbed right there in the greeting card aisle.
In the car on the way home I told God just how angry I was that He had taken my papa away.. after all He was God and He'd already taken my brother.. Now my papa.. I was alone.. totally and utterly alone.. so I thought.. oh I had my husband and my other relatives.. but not anyone who was all mine.. God very sweetly reminded me that I was not alone.. I was never alone.. He reminded me that He had promised to Never leave me or forsake me.. that was something else Papa had taught me.. God was Love.. God created Love.. We are created to serve God. I wasn't quite sure about all the In's and outs of Faith then.. but I learned them later on.. God continued to tell me.. "you know Karen.. you still have a father.. I'm your Father.. you can wish me Happy Father's day..".. hmmm hey, that's right.. So I did .. I also asked that God let my Papa know I was thinking of him too.. It has been 23 yrs since my Papa went home to be with the Lord.. It has been difficult not being able to call and tell him everything.. He always took my side.. I could tell him all about whatever thing "dear husband" had done to upset me.. papa would always tell me to "come on home honey".. I think someday I'll hear that sweet voice , maybe faintly at first.. whisper in my ear... " come on home honey".. Then I'll get to see my Papa again.. And I'll get to see my Heavenly Father.. face to face.. nothing in between .. I will be able to see Him as He really is...
I think I got a glimpse of Him.. years ago.. in the heart and life of my Papa..
Happy Father's Day Papa.. I love you..
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Monday, June 8, 2009

On any given night during the Summer.

This week I got to partake in one of the most American things I've seen in a while, T-Ball. I'm sure there are thousands, no, tens of thousands of kids in big cities and small towns donning helmets and gloves.. holding bats and balls for the first time. Really beginning to understand what baseball is all about. They are learning so many things that they will carry through life.. Mostly they are just kids having fun.. Kids as young as 3.. hitting a ball and running like the wind to a base.. most went to first base.. some just ran willy nilly, but were soon set back on course by the coaches and parents.. Everyone Cheered for each kid on each team.. shouts of encouragement were made.. the kids were all grins as they crossed "home plate". Everyone got a turn.. I'm sure someone kept score, but we never did know what it was. I don't think any of the kids even asked if they won.. they just knew they played, and it was fun. As you can tell from the picture above sometimes the kids ran after the ball, sometimes they just ran.. LOL
This is "Sissy", she is one of our "adopted grand kids".. this is her first year for T-ball. She told me after the game that her coach said she was a good runner. We were so proud as she got the first out. All the kids got to bat once each inning.. They had fun. heck, I had fun.. the bleachers were full of mom's, dad's, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and neighbors... there was free pop and popcorn for the players after the game .. provided by the "concession stand".. there were also shirts and hats.. provided by one of the local Churches so much fun..
I had to laugh when several of the kids, who had been drinking water like fish since they arrived, saw an opportunity and made a b-line for the potty room.. LOL the game had to stop for a few minutes until the outfield returned from the bathroom.
They had so much fun...
One of the things that touched me was the attention of the coaches from both teams for all the kids. I could see that this was not easy. trying to keep a swarm of energy filled younguns contained, and focused was no small feat.. In the end it all amounted to several lessons learned.. Teamwork, it's always more fun to work together, Water in large quantities is not good for small bladders, Mom's are always ready with snacks, tissues, drinks, hugs, and bandaids. Everyone should watch the ball, playing in the dirt may be fun, but you should not do it while you are playing T-ball, people who don't know you will yell your name and tell you what a good runner you are, and lastly high fives after the game should be gentle.
yep, what better way to spend a weeknight.. in a ball field in a small town, or large city, swatting mosquitoes and catching fireflies, watching kids play ball, and Having Fun...
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