I slipped an extra post in today. I needed to. I'll fill you in now on the first visit to the Radiation Oncologist. It was just two days ago. Today (previous Post) Was TEST day. A bit of a struggle day, but we made it just fine.
I would like to say that The Treatment Center here is wonderful and everything folks told us it would be. The photo above is from the website. There really is a waterfalls and this is really what it looks like. There is also a quiet pool of water and lovely rocks and stonework. It's in the Courtyard. A wonderful place to walk or sit while you are awaiting treatment.
I told you in an earlier post there have been a few moments when I felt like I needed to hold my Breath. When that wonderful peace and calm I've experienced seems to disappear for a moment.. The last one of those moments happened at our first visit to the Radiation Oncologist; only 2 short days ago.
We got the paperwork together, grabbed snacks and coffee and headed off to the Center. It's where the Old St. Joe's use to be so we figured we knew right where it was.. LOL we were wrong. They have blocked off streets and built stuff up. We don't ever drive down that way so we drove around for a bit. I"m glad I always leave for apts. a bit early. We weren't late and figured out a much easier way to get there.
I parked and we gathered up our stuff and walked toward the building. I don't think either of us walked to fast. I opened the door and the punch to the gut came swiftly. There was a pink Motorcycle plaque on the wall with signatures and a Pink Quilt. I couldn't look. The word cancer screamed at me from every corner of the wide expanse. I told myself to Breathe. I quickly said my verse.. "Be still and know that I am God".. (psalm 46:10) I refused to look. I didn't want to look at the quilt or the lady with the bandanna on her head. I didn't want any popcorn or coffee.. I didn't want to be here. not here. We didn't belong here.. here where people with cancer were. I just couldn't look not yet. I dropped my head and literally ran to the desk with papers in hand. Ken seemed to be fine. He kindly told the receptionist " I don't want to be here". I quickly added " but we are so happy to see you". She smiled and directed us to the elevator.
The doors opened and we followed the directions to the next reception desk. 3 big smiles greeted us. A man was signing in and told us to do the same. We did.. Ken again told the receptionist. " I don't want to be here". and I again quickly added " but we are so happy to meet you." I chose the chairs near the TV. something I could relate to. Ken paced. I finally glanced around. More people with hats and bandannas, some people with lab coats. a fish tank, and pamphlets about cancer. We waited.
It wasn't long before a young women escorted us back down a hallway. She weighed Ken and put him in the waiting room. thankfully there were several chairs. No one had to sit on the exam table this time. A huge sigh of relief. I was kind of surprised to see that the walls were gray. the cupboards too. There were the typical Dr. type things.. little plastic replicas of what I assumed were body parts/organs, cotton balls, gauze pads. The exam table/bed was lavender. And the stool the Dr. would later sit on, was pink. Kind of fun.
there was another chair and what looked to be a TV. and an IV pole in the corner. x-ray viewer behind our chairs, and hard wood floors. A nice touch I thought. It didn't stink like a lot of Dr. exam rooms do. The first thing we both noticed were the wonderful ceiling tiles. 3 tiles (the white acoustic kind) above the exam table/bed were painted. It was obvious they were done by Children. 2 were signed one was not. The one of Superman in front of buildings was delightful. I loved it. There was another one of a flower.. a giant flower. and one more. A cat, in front of a window, overlooking some snow topped mountains. there was a flower border around the window.. I studied that one for a while. What a wonderful imagination that child had.
Soon we met Dr. O. He was one big smile. He quickly went over the information from the paperwork with Ken. Asked a few questions. Then examined him. I took this time to go out and stare at the hallway and play on the scale. I realized those paintings dotted the ceiling in the hallway too. Soon Ken and Dr. O. exited the room and we were off to the big conference room. it was a muted lavender with big comfy purple chairs. I thought of my friend Julie and how she would love one of those chairs. Ken wanted the Dr. to go over all the options again with him. So he did.. Dr. O. had brought one for the rubber/body part models and paper. He showed Ken what a normal prostrate would look like.. He explained on a body model how it all worked. He explained about each option and always gave Ken opportunity to ask questions at any point. It was good.
He explained that Ken's cancer is a stage 2.. and grade 7. He explained what all that meant with a chart and graph, but he did it in a way that was very easy to understand. He didn't whip any Doctor speak on us. I know a lot of it since my papa worked in the hospital and I spent a lot of time around physicians as a kid and teenager. I didn't have to stop Dr. O. one time to get him to explain anything he had said.
I think for the first time Ken felt more confident about his choice. He had questions and I was glad he felt comfortable enough to ask them. We weren't rushed and when we did leave I think we both felt better.
Ken got his apt. set up for the testing. that happened earlier today. As we made our way out of the building I was able to stop and look at the quilt. We both looked at it for a while. I could smile at those ladies with the hats. Ken got some coffee and teased the receptionist. I could breathe.
We called some friends and had lunch. We talked and laughed. It was a good day. Not as scary as I thought it might be. I think we are both feeling better about this. I know after the tests were finished today Ken felt a lot better. I think breathing will be easier now.
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