OK, I'm Not Giving Up....

As most of you know,

(cause basically all of you are my friends and family)

It is time for my annual

"I'm Going On A Diet And I'm Actually Going to Lose A Bunch Of Weight"

Diet...

I'm not giving up...

Go ahead, snicker... I have a little.

I try to be all serious,

but I have done this every year for almost 40 years.

After a while you realize you need a little more then just wanting to lose weight.

You actually have to do some things.

I know what to do.

I'm not giving up...

I do those things faithfully for a few weeks, sometimes as long a 2 months.

Then March comes along and I figure

"Hey, it's my birthday, I need to just chill on this diet stuff and celebrate with my family and friends".

I'm not giving up...

I'm not saying that my birthday or my friends are the problem,

But Frustration, probably a lack of self worth/self esteem,

and 50 years of stuffing emotions down with food.

Every emotion.. good, bad, fear, joy.. all result in me feeling the overwhelming need to eat.

Food comforts me. It's my friend, It's always there.

It doesn't judge me,

or criticize me.

It is a stronghold of the worst kind.

I'm not giving up...

Other addictions we see as being bad, alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc.

But food, well we all have to eat.

The whole culture we live in revolves around food.

It's where we meet friends,

and Celebrate everything from new brides and babies,

to special times with family and friends.

I'm not giving up...

I have forged a bond with food that is strong.

I'm not living under the illusion that I will someday weigh 120 pounds.

For today I just want to manage it in some way.

I want to take away it's power over me.

I'm not giving up...

I keep getting closer and closer to the place where my weight affects my everyday life.

I have constant pain in my legs and knees now.

My blood pressure is slowly but surely going higher,

so more medication is prescribed.

I'm not giving up...

I am that fat person at most places we go.

Some days it's easy to laugh it off..

some days, not so easy.

Some days, like today it's scary,

and I fear what lies ahead if I don't make some healthy changes to my life.

I'm not giving up...

I am drinking a lot more water now. That is a big plus.

For years I never let a drop of that ole nasty water stuff touch my lips.. LOL

I'm trying more raw veggies.

I try to get more fresh fruit in my diet, and healthier grains, etc.

along with trying to eliminate the sugar. I love sweets.

I'm not giving up...

I am hoping to add some exercise to my days this year.

I'm still giving my knees some down time,

but plan to start moving more and more everyday.

I'm not giving up...

I know there will be days when I will just enjoy life,

and won't think of food at all.

I also know there will be days when stress and situations will overwhelm me.

I'm not giving up...

I know that I can do this..

I'm not giving up...

Another Year, Another Diet aka: Healthier Way of Living..

Another Year, another Diet... Holy Moly, I'm attempting it again.. I do so well for the first 15 or 20 minutes.. then it's a struggle. A stronghold... A battle of epic proportions..

Diets, I have tried them all, well most of them. I have never been big on just eating one food, or gross out diets that have you eating some weird thing, or "cleansing your innards", and I have never gotten acupuncture, or been hypnotised. I just resolve every year to make healthier choices and to do some kind of exercise..

Some of those healthier choices include getting off the diet pop.. I did it with great gusto last year. and did really well until the fall when I kept finding great pop sales.. you just can not miss a good sale.. so it's some weird brand and it's a weird flavor.. hey, it's on sale, buy it.. LOL but I digress.. or should I say I'm off chasing a rabbit.. Yes, last year I replaced pop with good old water. I am trying it again this year. I really like those little packets of sugar free drink mix, so when I want to change it up I add one..

I still have a house full of Christmas Groceries.. the stuff I never got around to making. Cookies, peanut brittle, cheese balls, etc. I plan to use them, just sparingly, and when I do make something I plan to have someone here to send it home with.

I went to the grocery store and started stocking up on low-calorie soup, low fat dairy, low calorie bread, along with fresh veggies, salad stuff, fresh fruit, etc. I like it all, it's just so dag um expensive. I'm not surprised that we are a nation of obese people. healthy food is expensive, and if you have a family to feed you skimp where you can.

I have a little group of friends on fb that have joined me in this years endeavor. They are fun and supportive. Something I need. It's always good to know we don't battle things alone.

I haven't started exercising yet. I have done some weird thing to my knee. I had surgery on it in '91. I finally decided that it's gotten bad enough to warrant a visit to the Knee dude.. I have my appt. for the end of the month. I'm hoping some meds and maybe some therapy will get it back in shape.

I'm glad I started this again. I need it. I need to stop looking at it as another diet, and keep thinking about it as a lifestyle change. I need to remember I want to live a long time, and I want to be healthy.. So I'll begin again.. I'll watch my portions, I'll eat when I'm actually hungry (not mad, or sad, or stressed, or moody, or happy), I'll make healthy yummy choices, and I'll pray about it. "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.."