I Can Trust Him....

Today was full of emotions and thoughts all spinning in my head. I'm trying to sort through all this. I don't know how to process what I know, and don't know about all this dementia stuff. 

I am very thankful for my friend Ann. Her husband was diagnosed with Alzheimers a couple of years ago. When I told her that I was being referred to a neurologist for symptoms of Early onset Dementia; she was great. she brought me a bag full of informational items about Dementia and Alzheimers. 

I put that bag away. I didn't want to read through any of it until I had the MRI and the EEG and results were available. I wanted to wait until Doc and I had gone over those test results and I'd had a chance to think about it and ask questions. 

One of the items she brought to me was a sheet containing the name of some books that were written by the Mayo Clinic. One that she suggested can be found  here. I purchased the Kindle version. I really feel better after reading the first 2 chapters. I have to remind myself that Doc said to return if my symptoms worsen. I can't assume they will get worse. I can make myself crazy thinking about what may happen. I have to stop myself and remember a couple of things. 

First.  I have to remember that God is Trust worthy. I've trusted Him with my Salvation. I've trusted Him to lead me through this life. I can trust Him with this too. I don't have to know or understand it all right now. I may never understand the why of this. 

I know that God can use this for good. I want Him to be Glorified in my life. I know that He can use this to teach me, to build my Faith, and to show me more of Himself. 

Today I felt torn and worn. I was again bombarded by fear, and the what ifs .. but God again reminded me that My times are in His hands. 

I need to go on with my life enjoying each day. living each moment. Waking each day taking God's hand and walking through whatever that day holds. If I had to do it alone. I know I couldn't but I don't have to do anything on my own. God is holding me. He's promised to be with me and never leave me. Yes, my God is trustworthy. 

Shake Like You've Been Changed...

wow,  I love this song by "Mercy Me"..  Being a girl who has always loved to dance, this one grabbed me right away. This is dancing around the house, in your car, at the store, right out in public kind of dancing music. 

 It's "I can't even dance, but I'm dancing " music. 

Love the Lyrics and the Message more.. How God has changed me. When I realize that God loved me just like I was and I couldn't do a thing to make Him love me more. Well, that changed me. That Love and sacrifice changes a person, and that Change makes you want to Dance.. Or as the song says  "Shake"..  

You can enjoy the song and dance by clicking Here.

Here are the Lyrics 

Let's just Shake like we're changed. 

 just can't believe

Where my life was at

All that I know is that my heart was broken

And I don't ever wanna go back

Ain't no explanation

How I saw the light

He found me and set me free

And it brought me back to life

Blame it on the transformation

Changed down to the core

His love is real

And I can't sit still

Cuz my name's not shamed no more

Great God Almighty, gonna change this

Great God Almighty, He gonna change me

You gotta shake, shake, shake

Like you're changed, changed, changed

Brand new looks so good on you

So shake like you've been changed

Come on and shake, shake

Shake like you've been changed

Shake, shake, shake like you changed

Maybe He came to you

When everything seemed fine

Or maybe your world was upside down and hit you right between the eyes

No matter when it happened

At 7 or 95

Move your feet ‘cause you are free

And you've never been more alive

You gotta shake, shake, shake

Like you're changed, changed changed

Brand new looks so good on you

So shake like you've been changed

Come on and shake, shake, shake

Shake like you changed, changed, changed

Shake, shake, shake like you changed

Brand new looks so good on you

So shake like you've been changed

Come on and shake, shake, shake

Shake like you changed, changed, changed

Shake, shake, shake like you changed

Shake, Shake

Great God Almighty gonna change me

Great God Almighty, He gone and changed me

No matter when it happened

At 7 or 95

Move your feet, ‘cause you are free

And you've never been more alive

Giant Killers wanted...

Yesterday was a roller coaster of a day. Dear friends from Church received the news that the tumor was cancer..  

The day began with fervent prayer that the biopsy would come back good.. Our ladies prayer meeting took place and as we were gathered for breakfast at a local restaurant the call came. Cancer. 

Time stopped..  we tried to wrap our heads around how a 15 yr old could have cancer. How is that possible, and not just any 15 yr. old.. one of ours. That is just how it felt. Our daughter. One of the Aunts was there, and of course her pain was a million times more acute then ours, but still we felt the pain of the situation fill our hearts and minds. 

I spent the day praying.. praying for mom and dad. praying for the siblings and the extended family members. Praying for the Doctors that will read all the tests and make a treatment plan, and of course, praying for "our" kid. 

I saw where Dad made a post on facebook. He called the cancer a giant, but immediately followed that with "looking for the right stone"..  I know this has been a blow to Mom and Dad like nothing they have faced before..  They must feel like young David of the Bible.. Standing and looking at the Giant that is sneering at their smallness and laughing at their funny looking armor. For now, that giant looks mighty big. They are unsure of just how they need to attack ... But they know something that giant doesn't know..  

That funny looking armor is the Armor of God.. They are very familiar with it They've worn it before. This giant is different, it appears bigger then others they have faced, but they know God is the one who will fight for them. God will enable them, just like David, to defeat this giant. I'm not sure how God will do it, but I know He will. I know that as they assemble their chosen rocks. Other believers will be assembling to encircle them with prayer and support. I can't wait to see this giant hit the ground. I can't wait to shout with "our kid" Cancer Free.. 

I know that today they are not the only ones who face a giant. Maybe you have one you are about to face or are facing. Know that God can and will help you face and defeat your giant. Ask for His help. He is waiting and willing to help you choose the right stones and He'll help you fight. 

Be Encouraged.

The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves; He will take great delight in you; 

in His love he will no longer rebuke you; but will rejoice over you with Singing.

   I don't know about you, but I occasionally suffer from unworthy-itis. It has taken me a while to believe Who I am in Christ and how God see's me. 

The first time I ever saw this verse I immediately thought "this is so great but God could never really love me, delight in me, or rejoice over me with singing." I could tell you all the reasons why this verse did not apply to me.  Then I realized if I was going to believe the Bible was God's word to me. If I was going to believe that God loved me and sent His son to die for me. (Matt 3:16)  Then I needed to believe this too.. 

Wow, God looks at me and takes delight in me. He looks at me and Rejoices. His love for me causes Him to Sing over me. God is so in love with Us, His own Creation, that He is Singing it.. 

He is with you, He is rescuing you, He Delights in You, He loves you, and He Rejoices over you with Singing...How cool is that.  

Whatever the world is calling you today..Be encouraged. The God of the Universe, The God that created it all from Nothing, The God that Created you to have a Relationship with Him, The God who sent His son to die for your Sins, He is telling you who you are in Him..   

We've Been Looking....

Today I'm excited. You may wonder why so I'll tell ya. We've been Looking. For what you may ask, for a Pastor would be my response. Our Church has been without a Pastor for almost 2 years. You may think that odd. I would have years ago. Most of the Churches I attended as a young child would just take the pastor the governing body of the denomination would send. It didn't matter who he was or what he was like. He was yours and you kept him till he retired or died. Then you'd get another one. 

The Denomination I belong to now doesn't do things that way. There is no governing board that "sends someone".  Each Church is autonomous and chooses their own Pastor. It's a process, and I think a very good one.  

A Pastor Search committee was formed, and has been working for months going through "the process". 
We were told 2 Sundays ago that  a man will be coming in June in "in view of a call" to come and be our Pastor. A quick translation of that is He comes, He preaches, we eat, We ask questions, We pray about it for a week and then We vote. 

We have been told of our prospective Pastor. His personal info., family info. (I love that he has a family), his educational background etc. I'm thrilled. I'll jump the gun a little here and say I'm a fan already. I love that he is a social media type. He tweets, facebooks, blogs,, and his sermons are even online. I've listened to one and it was was wonderful. He even loves coffee.  ( I'm whooping here) The only drawback I see so far is that he seems to be a "die hard" St. Louis Cardinals fan. Well I guess he can't be perfect.

It seems like I know him already. I've prayed for him and his family for so long. I didn't know it then, but it was him. I'm so excited. So thrilled, and so ready to see where God will direct us. We have been blessed to have an awesome interim Pastor. Bro. Gary has been wonderful and has kept us focused on what God has for us. I think sometimes we can get so hung up on not having a Pastor that we forget who is really Leading us. 

I'm praying that this is God's man for us at this time. I'm praying that We, as the Church, Will continue to pray for God's will and direction. I feel like we've come together in a special way these last few months. We've seen God move in some awesome ways. He's not done with us yet. (a big woot woot here) 

Today I'm filled with expectation, anticipation, and exhilaration.  I'm full of Joy and Hope . I'm looking forward to what God is doing in our midst.. 

Oh The Fun I'm Having This Week...

Oh The fun I'm having this week. It's Vacation Bible School Time!!!  I love it. I look forward to it. 

And I'm glad when the week is over. LOL  

This year our Bible School is titled Awesome God, Amazing Power.  We are traveling the world on Amazing wonders Airline. I have the joy of being part of the Team that provides the snacks for the evening. 

(fist pump here)   

LOL, wow it's fun. We not only get a chance to provide a yummy snack but we get to talk about what the kids are learning. We go over their Bible verse for the night with them, and my favorite, I get to pray with them. 

This week we've talked about God's Amazing power over Nature, circumstances, Sin, and tonight about His  power over death. 

Since we are winging our way around on the AWA (Amazing Wonders Airline) We are serving 

In Flight snacks: (chips, pretzels, cheese balls, and gold fish crackers)

Matter Horn yodeling pudding cups

aviator applesauce 

Grand Canyon Boulders (bagel bites) 

Victoria Falls Fish sticks 

Tarmac tater tots

Paricutin Pancakes

Roll and Dive Sausage

Polar dogs

and 

Pilot Popsicles 

I have a great team that help me get everything ready. It's about 3 hours of standing most nights. We all laugh about our swollen ankles and feet. Well those of us who swell do :-) 

I can't imagine not being part of this great week. 

What a joy to have this special time to share with children all about 

the Awesome God who created them, Loves them, and wants them to follow Him. 

Hard To Believe It All Started With The Yearly Checkup...

           It was time. Time for dragging Ken to the Dr.'s office for the yearly checkup. He hates going to the doctor. The only reason he goes is so he can get prescription refills. If they didn't make him do that once a year he would never go. It's never a good time for him so I make the appts. anyway. This year they were near the end of Feb. the 21st to be exact. You can see that it took me a while to get him to the doctor this year. We needed our refills and I wanted this all done so we could leave the first of March for Ky. I had plans and to wait any longer was just not possible.
      I encouraged him to get his " Welcome to Medicare" physical, but he was having none of it. So refills only it was. He did promise the Doc that he would come back in June to have that physical. The normal cursory exam stuff was preformed and we were off to the lab for blood work. We had our normal Celebratory breakfast and headed home. 
      The call came a few days later. Ken's PSA was elevated. They were referring him to a Urologist. Later that day we got a call from the Uro (I'm abbreviating it.) telling us standard procedure for the first visit was to do an ultra sound of the prostrate and a biopsy. 
      Our Trip to Ky. was postponed for a bit and we waited for the Uro visit on March 19th. We both kind of chuckled when we got to the office that day. A big room full of men. To be fair there were a few women there, but that day it was mostly men and they were all there for the same thing. None of them looked to happy or excited to be there. The Office staff was great and very efficient as was the Dr. The tests were done quickly and soon Ken appeared, a little wincey, but OK. As we were preparing to leave an elderly couple were heading for the door. The woman, who appeared to be at least 90, looked at her husband and said something hysterically funny. (sorry I can't remember it now) Husband and I tried not to blurt out laughing. As I glanced around that big room I noticed others had heard it too. It was a great stress reliever. We were told to expect a call sometime in the next 2 weeks with results. It didn't take that long. 
      The call came 3 days later on the 22nd of March. I had broken off a tooth the night before and spent 6 hrs. at the dentist office that day getting a cleaning, root canal, and a restoration. It wasn't a good day. When I got home Ken said the Uro had called. He had cancer. That was all he said. Then he sat silent for about 3 hours. I realized later that he was in shock and trying to wrap his head around what the Dr. had said. I was calming myself and making calls to the girls. I wanted to get my Prayer warriors praying for Ken, but first I had to tell our girls. I didn't want them hearing it from anyone but us. 
     They were difficult calls to make, but they were made. Prayer Warriors were notified, a few friends messaged. I prayed.. I prayed a lot those first 3 hours. I prayed for calm and peace for us both. I prayed for healing and for Salvation for Ken. I prayed that wonderful verse in Psalms.."Be Still, and know that I am God. "  psalm 46:10a. I have used that verse several times to remind me That He is God, and I can be calm and stand quietly knowing that He will take care of it all. 
      After those 3 hours Ken told me more of the conversation. He told me the Dr. said "it was early stage and very treatable and not to worry he would take care of it."  I told Ken, God would take care of it. I spoke it and knew as I said it that it was true. A peace and calm came over me that I still can not explain other then to say it was God. 
     Another apt. was made with the Uro. for April 12th to discuss options and such. By that time the Grandkids that were coming for dinner were told just in case grandpa talked about it. I didn't want sadness to permeate one of the few times we all can get together. Besides, We had our First Great Grandchild to meet and that could not be a sad day. We were to excited to be anything but bubbling with anticipation and excitement. A baby. woo hooo..  you can see him in a previous post.. http://maamawkaren.blogspot.com/2012/04/introducing-our-new-great-grandson-he.html 

     I will tell you know that I held my breath that day of the consult with the Uro. I did my homework. I googled everything I could find about prostrate cancer. I found charts and graphs and took out my legal pad and made notes. I wanted to make sure I understood everything we were going to be told and I wanted to be knowledgeable about options so I could ask good questions. I knew Ken would have a few questions too, but I wanted to make sure mine were answered too. I had told the girls about the consult and that it was open to the entire family if they wanted to attend. I also suggested they ask if their dad was OK with their attending before they came. They both decided to wait and just hear what the Dr. told us. 
     Holding my breath for 3 weeks was hard. I didn't really hold it all the time, but occasionally I would hold it for a few seconds if I thought about it. Instantly the peace and calm would come. So I waited. 
The day for the consult came. I didn't really start holding my breath until we were called back to the exam room. There was only one chair. The Dr. invited me to sit on the exam table. (which I did cause I felt so awkward) And then I really felt awkward. LOL  he told us about the Gleason score, and the options of surgery (which he does), robotic surgery (which a colleague of his does) and radiation. He explained to us about how age matters with treatment options and what happens if the cancer returns. He gave us statistics and answered all our questions. Ken chose Radiation, Surgery did not appeal to him for several reasons. 
     An Appointment was made with a Radiation Oncologist. The pages of paperwork were received, and I filled them out..  Feel Free to laugh here. I fill out all of Ken's paperwork. I ask him questions if I don't know the answer. He signs it. That's the way it works at our house. The appointment was made. April 25th. only a little over a week away. Good. The sooner the better. 
     So here we are in April and facing the apt. with an Oncologist. My next post will take us through the days before and that visit. I'm still feeling incredibly calm and at peace. I know it's God. 

   

Leaning To Trust God Even When The Word Is Cancer...

  Over the past few weeks I've realized how God has grown me in the Trust department. As those of you who know me have seen, my middle name is panic. I don't like it, but it's true. I've decided to share this Trust journey here. Probably more for myself then for anyone else. I want to write it. To express it or try to express it. I need to get it out and on paper. I need to have a record of this journey so I can go back and see each step that God led me through. I attempted to write it in a journal I keep by my bed. I just can't do it. My handwriting is atrocious and I doubt that in a year I'd even be able to understand it myself. If I write it here then family and friends, who want to follow the journey, will have an easier time of it.

   I will start here by saying that this is not my journey. It's my husbands journey. I'm walking it with him. Prostrate cancer was the diagnosis. Cancer was the word. I won't share a lot about husband's feelings. to be honest he doesn't say much. I really think it's personal enough that I should let him share it with you himself. I will from time share some of his thoughts.These writings will be about my journey with him through this. My time of learning to Trust God even when the word is Cancer.

   I do want you to encourage the men in your life to begin getting their PSA tests done when recommended by their Doctor. You can Click here for more information.
The PSA test (yearly blood test) results alerted our family Doctor of the need for a referral to a Urologist. I'll go into all that in another post, but I want to make sure you encourage your fathers, brothers, uncles, grandpas, cousins, all the men in your life to have this simple blood test done. Prostrate cancer is very treatable when caught in it's early stages. The next post will catch you up to where we are today with this journey. All the tests and referrals take time. I'm not so good with the waiting thing either, but God knows that and Thankfully He just works with me on one area at a time. This time it's being Quiet/Calm and Trusting Him, Even when the word is Cancer.

Just A Little Pick-Me- Up For Your Soul

This is one of the greatest descriptions of God I've ever heard. I am awed at just how Amazing God is. I think sometimes in trying to make Him personal to us we forget that He is God. He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He is the Creator of the Universe. He IS...

This description was made by the late T.M. Lockridge. http://www.ignitermedia.com/products/iv/singles/4/Thats-My-King

While your there take a look at this one.. Are You Amazed.. Love the Song "Your Grace still Amazes me"....

http://www.ignitermedia.com/products/iv/singles/2/Are-You-Amazed

Have a Blessed Day...

Happy Father's Day Papa...

This is my Papa.. I'm not really sure when I started calling him papa.. I think it was after my folks divorced. As you may remember I was adopted, along with my brother Keith, when I was 2. The name just fit.. it was a term of Endearment that brother Keith and I used all the time.. As we became teens Papa became Pa.. Even the neighbor kids called Papa.. "Pa".. I will let you know that when I was not pleased with my Papa I called him Father.. LOL it was the rebel in me that caused this to happen on occasion.. those occasions usually ended up with me being grounded for a time.. Papa was a stickler for obedience. Most would say he was strict. I thought at the time the term "slave driver" fit well.. LOL little did I realize then the life lessons my Strict Papa was teaching me. I could never list all the things Papa taught me here.. but I'll try.. He taught me that "Honesty is the best policy", that "pretty is as pretty does", "beauty is only skin deep", "early to bed and early to rise makes me really sleepy"... LOL oh my goodness.. Pa was up at 5 am his whole life.. even after he became ill and couldn't work.. he was up.. if we slept until 8:00 we might as well just stay in bed.. we'd slept half the day away.. Papa taught us it was better to give then to receive.. He was absolutely right.. I've come to see that Papa was right about most things..

Papa worked as the supervisor of the lab at a few different hospitals in the area. He cracked me up.. He could do all manor of bio-chemist type stuff, but would struggle for an hour over assembling a wagon, bike, or swing set. I remember when he put up the swing set.. it was so funny.. he would wander around with the bag of bolts and instructions.. the swing set was finally up.. but he never could figure out how he had all those pieces left over.. :-)
Papa was a stickler for school and always doing your best.. Your best was expected, no exceptions.. "a little hard work never killed anybody".. yep, Papa was all for work.. there were jobs that had to be done.. we were all part of the household, we all had chores that were expected to be done. I went to live with Papa after the divorce.. I was 9.. by the time I was 10, I was cooking the meals, doing the laundry, ironing, cleaning the house.. etc. No play till the work was done.. a hard and fast rule that was never bent.. as soon as the work was finished we could have all the fun we wanted.. but till then we were house bound.. Another thing we learned was that "our word was our bond".. if we said we were going to do something.. we better do it.. No if, ands, or buts.. He taught me that your family is the most important thing in the world.. Papa only dated once after the divorce.. we threw a huge hissy fit and he never dated again.. that was one time he should have taken us both by the scruff of our little necks and told us how it would be.. he never did.. He made us his whole life.. All his decisions were based on what would be best for us. He gave up a lot.. that's when I learned about sacrificing for others..

This picture is so precious to me.. I didn't know that in a few short months my brother would pass away.. then only 4 years later my papa would also leave me.. My first hero.. my first dancing partner.. my first guinea pig when I wanted to try out a new recipe..
the first one I would ask when I wanted to know something.. the first one to ride in the car, with me driving, not screaming.. The Man who taught me how Men should treat me.. My security, my safe place.. my Papa.. he could whoop a bear, change a tire, and make the best gravy and pie crusts you ever ate.. Papa played the Guitar.. we had a song.. our song.. He would always sing to me.. " you are my sunshine".. I can still hear him singing.. he had a beautiful voice..
The first Father's day after Papa passed was horrible.. He had passed away in March that year.. I was shopping and stopped by the card section.. realizing it was almost Father's day.. I grabbed a card and started to read it.. I always wanted the best card for my Papa.. Then it hit me.. I didn't need that card.. and I was overcome with grief.. I sobbed right there in the greeting card aisle.
In the car on the way home I told God just how angry I was that He had taken my papa away.. after all He was God and He'd already taken my brother.. Now my papa.. I was alone.. totally and utterly alone.. so I thought.. oh I had my husband and my other relatives.. but not anyone who was all mine.. God very sweetly reminded me that I was not alone.. I was never alone.. He reminded me that He had promised to Never leave me or forsake me.. that was something else Papa had taught me.. God was Love.. God created Love.. We are created to serve God. I wasn't quite sure about all the In's and outs of Faith then.. but I learned them later on.. God continued to tell me.. "you know Karen.. you still have a father.. I'm your Father.. you can wish me Happy Father's day..".. hmmm hey, that's right.. So I did .. I also asked that God let my Papa know I was thinking of him too.. It has been 23 yrs since my Papa went home to be with the Lord.. It has been difficult not being able to call and tell him everything.. He always took my side.. I could tell him all about whatever thing "dear husband" had done to upset me.. papa would always tell me to "come on home honey".. I think someday I'll hear that sweet voice , maybe faintly at first.. whisper in my ear... " come on home honey".. Then I'll get to see my Papa again.. And I'll get to see my Heavenly Father.. face to face.. nothing in between .. I will be able to see Him as He really is...
I think I got a glimpse of Him.. years ago.. in the heart and life of my Papa..
Happy Father's Day Papa.. I love you..

Mom, Easter, and Forgiveness..

Dear Reader,

First I want to extend Easter greetings to you.. today I'm thinking about a love that I can not even comprehend.. A Savior that gave all He had for me, and chose to do it..

I want to share something with you. Some of you know I was adopted at the age of 2. My adoptive mother was mentally ill and was very abusive. The last time I saw her I was 15. The last time I had spoken to her was in 1986. Ours was never a close or good relationship. I won't go into it all here just know it was not good..

I've spent years praying for God to help me find forgiveness for the awful mental and physical abuse that my brother and I suffered at her hands.. to be honest her attitude and personality never changed over the years. I can say I was glad when I didn't hear from her after my Dad (adoptive father) passed away in 1986. They divorced when I was 9 and I lived with dad.. Mom would call every 2 or 3 years to tell me what a horrible child I had been and how horrible I was as an adult. She would also tell me how I would regret not seeing her or speaking with her. I didn't regret it for one moment.

This past summer I kept thinking about her. I knew she would be abt. 80 and wondered what her life had been like over the last 23 yrs. our last conversation she had told me she was saved. I doubted it. God kept telling me to find her. I finally gave in and looked. Through the Internet I found an old address and through that address I found her and her sister..

 she had suffered several years of health problems, strokes, and dementia. She had been living with her sister for abt. 20 yrs. Sister emailed me and we exchanged info. I sent cards to Mom and emails. I sent Pictures of our family, and updates. Sister told me she had lost most of her memory, but she knew who I was and wanted to talk to me. I will tell you when I heard she wanted to speak to me I was flung back in time. I was terrified of her as a child, and I was still terrified of her as an adult. The thought of speaking to her, even on the phone, left me shaking and nauseated. No way.  I had done what God asked, I had found her, and that was good enough. I wasn't going to put myself through that, and I certainly wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of berating me again. 

God made it very clear I was to talk to her. God and I discussed it several times and at great length. I finally gave in and made the call. 

Mom and I spoke for about 5 min..I knew she was no longer the monster that haunted my dreams.. she was a frail, sick, old women, who needed peace, forgiveness, compassion, comfort, and Love..

I learned a few things during that call. first.. I learned with the memory loss I would never hear her apologize or beg for my forgiveness. I don't mind saying that the idea of that ticked me off. I wanted her to beg for my forgiveness so I could say no, or did I ?

 From the beginning. I knew that God had given me what I had asked for, Forgiveness.. I didn't have any anger or hate. I didn't want revenge. I did feel, pity, compassion, forgiveness, and love; not love in the sense that mothers and daughters should have, but love non the less.

I came to realize this was God's gift to me. You see He wanted me to know that my forgiveness toward her was what I needed; not an apology from her.That one 5 minute call was the last time we spoke. We both knew in our hearts that it would be. I was fine with that. There was no need for more words. I can't even describe it to you, but it was done..

Mom died yesterday morning. She is finally at peace. Home with her Savior and mentally stable. Something she never had in this life. She is no longer tortured by her childhood, or the problems and pain that changed her.

I want to tell you that forgiveness is real. It's a possibility. No matter what has happened God will give you His forgiveness to give to another, but remember it's for you not the one who hurt you. God's love and forgiveness is what had changed my life in 1982. It changed my hate filled heart into a compassionate one. God showed me how He saw me; full of meanness and hate. Twisted by sin and bad choices, But saved and redeemed through His love and compassion. Changed through His forgiveness. Forever changed through the love of Jesus Christ. I could now give to my mother what had been give to me. Forgiveness. 

I can say that I look forward to the day when mom and I will meet in heaven.. I will finally meet the mother that a little girl wanted and needed so many year ago. I'll meet the woman that God created perfect in His love. I'll be perfect too, and we'll know each other. that's cool. That's what Easter is really all about..

I continue to be amazed by God and His love for me.. I love that He continues to work with me and keeps forming me into the woman He wants me to be.
May God teach you the benefits of forgiving others, and may God Bless you always.

"Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die."
John 11:25-26